Disappointment

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August 22, 2019 by thewashingteenian

By Joshua Kebe

I’m at the library.

I constantly push myself to do good, yet while doing that I tell myself, “Don’t be like your parents.” The voices constantly ring in my head every day, like a hammer pounding on a floor. They keep telling me to do bad things and hurt people.

I then get a text message from my mom saying, “Meet me at the park at 3:30pm so we can talk.” I talk to a friend of mine and she tells me, “I bet you your dad is there.” I say back to her, “I hope to God he isn’t there.” My dad gave me PTSD cause he constantly beat me growing up, so every time I see him, I have a panic attack. He’s hurt me so much growing up that I can’t feel pain anymore. It’s beginning to get harder and harder to cry…all I want to do is crawl into a little ball and cry.

So I walk halfway to the park with my friend and she guides me where I need to be to walk the rest of the way. I get to the park and I text my mom, “Where are you?” “I’m at the park,” she texts back. “I’m at the concession stand,” she says. I then see my dad getting out of his car with my sister and walks to the concession stand. My heart drops and I start sobbing. I then run away and call my friend and say, “My mom lied to me – my dad was there!” She tells me, “It’s okay. I’m going to get the boys and we will be on our way.” So I go running and finally get to them. After I get to them, we get to her house safely.

Now I’m 18. My mom took everything from me and left with my dad and siblings. Now I’m trying to gather all my stuff and start studying for my GED.